A new thread, for a new year.
Our first entry of 2012 is a request via IM, from the always hip and all-round nice guy: igotdabluze
Oh, I do requests; I�ll even do �Mustang Sally� if you throw a Jackson in the old tip jar. But please, please, please: I don�t do �Whippin� Post� or �Free Bird�. Well maybe if you throw a Franklin in the jar�..
Meet Edward Brown he�s our first Asshat on Parade for 2012. This Asshat; thirty minutes into a showing of the movie �Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked,� sitting naked in the front row, stood up, faced the crowd of 86 theater-goers, stretched out his hands and displayed his genitalia for all to see before sitting back down to enjoy the movie.
In fairness to Mr. Brown: in all the trailers I�ve seen, it seems they do make a lot of double entendre jokes about �nuts� in the movie.
Pro Tip: Never show your nuts to Chipmunks
Be that as it may�..
Naked Man Interrupts 'Chipmunks' At North Riverside Mall Theater
Chicago Man Charged After Allegedly Exposing Himself To 86 People
Riverside-Brookfield Landmark
By BOB UPHUES
Editor
Kids and parents who paid admission to see a movie about three shipwrecked chipmunks on Dec. 29 at the North Riverside Park Mall's Classic Cinemas theater, 7501 Cermak Rd., got a bonus show that afternoon - one that landed a 34-year-old Chicago man in Cook County Jail.
About a half hour into the 4 p.m. showing of the kiddie feature Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, police say an entirely naked Edward L. Brown stood up from his seat in the front row, faced the crowd of 86 theater-goers, stretched out his hands and displayed his genitalia for all to see before sitting back down to enjoy the movie.
Two North Riverside police officers, who were patrolling inside the mall, responded to the scene within a minute, ordered Brown to put his clothes back on and, without further incident, escorted him out the fire entrance and away from those who remained inside the theater.
The theater manager, meanwhile, stopped the film and offered refunds or vouchers to another show for those who were in the theater at the time of the incident.
According to the police report, Brown told officers that he had been let inside the movie theater for free by an unknown female who allegedly told him to have a seat in the front row of the theater, take off his clothes and wait for her, so they could have sex, smoke crack and do heroin.
At a hearing on Dec. 30 at the Maybrook courthouse, a Cook County judge set Brown's bail at $100,000. He remains in custody, charged with three felony counts of sexual exploitation of children, aged 4, 6 and 6; one misdemeanor count of sexual exploitation of a minor aged 14; and one misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct.
Brown has another court date on Jan. 9 at Maybrook.
Our first entry of 2012 is a request via IM, from the always hip and all-round nice guy: igotdabluze
Oh, I do requests; I�ll even do �Mustang Sally� if you throw a Jackson in the old tip jar. But please, please, please: I don�t do �Whippin� Post� or �Free Bird�. Well maybe if you throw a Franklin in the jar�..
Meet Edward Brown he�s our first Asshat on Parade for 2012. This Asshat; thirty minutes into a showing of the movie �Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked,� sitting naked in the front row, stood up, faced the crowd of 86 theater-goers, stretched out his hands and displayed his genitalia for all to see before sitting back down to enjoy the movie.
In fairness to Mr. Brown: in all the trailers I�ve seen, it seems they do make a lot of double entendre jokes about �nuts� in the movie.
Pro Tip: Never show your nuts to Chipmunks
Be that as it may�..
Naked Man Interrupts 'Chipmunks' At North Riverside Mall Theater
Chicago Man Charged After Allegedly Exposing Himself To 86 People
Riverside-Brookfield Landmark
By BOB UPHUES
Editor
Kids and parents who paid admission to see a movie about three shipwrecked chipmunks on Dec. 29 at the North Riverside Park Mall's Classic Cinemas theater, 7501 Cermak Rd., got a bonus show that afternoon - one that landed a 34-year-old Chicago man in Cook County Jail.
About a half hour into the 4 p.m. showing of the kiddie feature Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, police say an entirely naked Edward L. Brown stood up from his seat in the front row, faced the crowd of 86 theater-goers, stretched out his hands and displayed his genitalia for all to see before sitting back down to enjoy the movie.
Two North Riverside police officers, who were patrolling inside the mall, responded to the scene within a minute, ordered Brown to put his clothes back on and, without further incident, escorted him out the fire entrance and away from those who remained inside the theater.
The theater manager, meanwhile, stopped the film and offered refunds or vouchers to another show for those who were in the theater at the time of the incident.
According to the police report, Brown told officers that he had been let inside the movie theater for free by an unknown female who allegedly told him to have a seat in the front row of the theater, take off his clothes and wait for her, so they could have sex, smoke crack and do heroin.
At a hearing on Dec. 30 at the Maybrook courthouse, a Cook County judge set Brown's bail at $100,000. He remains in custody, charged with three felony counts of sexual exploitation of children, aged 4, 6 and 6; one misdemeanor count of sexual exploitation of a minor aged 14; and one misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct.
Brown has another court date on Jan. 9 at Maybrook.
| QUOTE |
| According to the police report, Brown told officers that he had been let inside the movie theater for free by an unknown female who allegedly told him to have a seat in the front row of the theater, take off his clothes and wait for her, so they could have sex, smoke crack and do heroin. |
At some point I wonder how many of these Asshats are doing this stuff to get arrested so they can get �three hots and a cot�.
But if it�s true: It's sad that you can no longer trust women when they say "Let's have sex, smoke crack and do heroin together". A sad day indeed.
But if it�s true: It's sad that you can no longer trust women when they say "Let's have sex, smoke crack and do heroin together". A sad day indeed.
| QUOTE |
| Kids and parents who paid admission to see a movie about three shipwrecked chipmunks on Dec. 29 at the North Riverside Park Mall's Classic Cinemas theater, 7501 Cermak Rd., got a bonus show that afternoon.. |
A bonus? WTF? This is not how I would define a bonus. See now Kids, in my eye a bonus at the movies might include: free popcorn and a drink; or a coloring book and crayons for the kiddies, but some Asshat�s �Johnson�, not so much.
I�d hit it.......like you wouldn't.
I�d hit it.......like you wouldn't.
