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Jazz and Your Mate

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Django

Jazz and Your Mate

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Posts: 98

Mar 27 07 1:53 AM

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This evening I watched a DVD of the "The Beiderbecke Connection" which is the third and final British TV mystery/comedy in a series from the 1980's. The main characters are Trevor, a self described "Jazz Freak," and his lady love Jill, who just doesn't get it where jazz is concerned. At one point in the story Trevor talks Jill into going with him to a local club.

Jill: What exactly are you going to make me listen to tonight?

Trevor: Jazz

Jill: What kind of jazz?

Trevor: What kind do you know about?

Jill: Well, there's "Hot," "Cool," and "What Time Does the Tune Start?"

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chris olivarez

#1

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 10192

Mar 27 07 4:04 AM

When I was married my wife HATED jazz. Justr one of many reasons she's my ex.

Everybody looks good at the starting line. Get on your mark,get ready but you better keep this in mind. You can hit the ground running like you're shot from a gun but going the distance is the hard part son. Everybody looks good at the starting line.

Paul Thorn

Chris Olivarez, Pagosa Springs,in most beautiful Colorado.

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rivercityslim

#2

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 4845

Mar 27 07 12:21 PM

My significant other is not a jazz fan. She doesn't hate jazz, and in fact listens to lots of it because I'm listening to it. There are certain artists/styles that she gets along with just fine -- the more melodic and/or Bluesy, the more likely it is that she'll like it.

Anything that resembles 'outside' playing, as typified by Coltrane, drives her up the wall. So I just listen to that kind of stuff in my car, or at my computer, so that she won't have to hear it. Sometimes I don't realize where her threshold is -- the other day we were in the car and I had on Art Blakey's 'Freedom Ride' which seemed innocuous enough to me, but when Wayne Shorter took off on a solo, I suddenly realized that that subtle line had been crossed

and put something different on.

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Sherman

#3

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 9580

Mar 27 07 1:49 PM

At this point in my life, Jazz and Blues are a deal maker or breaker. It�s as simple as that. If she don�t like Jazz and Blues, she won�t like me all that much. And so it goes.

Rebecca, Rebecca, get your big legs off of me,
Rebecca, Rebecca, get your big legs off of me,
It may be sending you baby, but it's worrying the hell out of me.

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nighthawk

#4

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 9270

Mar 27 07 3:26 PM

My wife gets it, to a point. That's good enough for me. We do well where our tastes intersect and I go my own way with the rest.

"A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having."

Location: just outside of Pittsburgh, PA

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WorldB3

#5

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Posts: 353

Mar 27 07 3:36 PM

I would say my wife loves or likes most Jazz, though not as much as I do. If I go to six Jazz concerts a year she will go to three of them with me. If I put on something new or something I haven't played in a while she likes to guess who the artist is based on the style of their playing. I would say she gets it right about 70% of the time.

And best of all she put up with years of my practicing when I was still holding on to the idea of leading a life as a musician.

Talking about deal breakers, I have a freind who ended a date on the spot and droper her off at the next corner to get out of his car for not knowing who Miles Davis was and another time didn't call back a really nice girl for saying McCoy Tyner sounded like the Peanuts Xmas movie music. If I was single I dont' think I would go that far but I can see his point.

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Tom 1960

#6

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 6152

Mar 27 07 5:29 PM

My wife tolerates my habit, but doesn't share it.

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7844473

#7

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 30580

Mar 27 07 5:41 PM

My Annie, who passed in 1989, didn't know much jazz or blues, but loved when I played some. Sometimes she would even ask me to play some on the stereo.

My ex-wife liked both, she even recorded a tape on which she sang a few jazz standards solely accompanied by jazz piano player Joe Turner. He liked her voice and told her she'd go places if she kept at it.
But she gave up thinking the artist life was not for her.
After we divorced, she confessed that she had grown to consider my passion for music as some kind of a rival though.

Rene
Paris, France.

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Django

#8

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Posts: 98

Mar 27 07 8:06 PM

QUOTE (rivercityslim @ Mar 27 2007, 12:21 PM)

My significant other is not a jazz fan. She doesn't hate jazz, and in fact listens to lots of it because I'm listening to it. There are certain artists/styles that she gets along with just fine -- the more melodic and/or Bluesy, the more likely it is that she'll like it.

Anything that resembles 'outside' playing, as typified by Coltrane, drives her up the wall. So I just listen to that kind of stuff in my car, or at my computer, so that she won't have to hear it. Sometimes I don't realize where her threshold is -- the other day we were in the car and I had on Art Blakey's 'Freedom Ride' which seemed innocuous enough to me, but when Wayne Shorter took off on a solo, I suddenly realized that that subtle line had been crossed

and put something different on.

My experience is similar to yours. My wife enjoys a lot of what I like but if the music becomes too dissonant, harsh, loud, or aggressive then she can�t listen. Fortunately, I have a good stereo in a small den and a pair of headphones standing by. It helps to remember that aversion to a music cuts both ways � there are sorts she enjoys that I don�t and that matter to her just as much as jazz does to me - and be grateful we find as much common ground as we do. I think it would be very difficult if we couldn�t share some music.

This brings me back to the "Beiderbecke" films. Screenwriter Alan Plater and actors James Bolam and Barbara Flynn capture, with the ring of truth, how a couple manage successfully with passionately held but unshared interests: by not pretending to like something they can�t, by diffusing stress with humorous banter, and by appreciating that the other person�s enthusiasm for something is an expression of the personality that they love, and by generously going along for the ride once in a while just to please, even if they'd prefer to be somewhere else.

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Blue Trane

#9

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 2056

Mar 27 07 9:49 PM

My wife tolerates it and the size of my collection because she loves me. She's into Soul, R&B, Classic Rock, Broadway and all forms of Dance so she's easy to live with. She also finds my passion for people like Stravinsky inexplicable but tolerates. We've been married 30 years now and I consider myself blessed. Jeff T aka Blue Trane.

St Louis, MO
" Jazz is the music of the freedom of collective improvisation."- Duke Ellington in Music Is My Mistress.

“I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.”
Duke Ellington quote

It is from the blues that all that may be called American music derives its most distinctive character.-James Weldon Johnson

"And what gift of America to the rest of the world is actually most appreciated by the rest of the world? It is African-American jazz and its offshoots. What is my definition of jazz? 'Safe sex of the highest order.'"-Kurt Vonnegut

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ForumerDeletedUser

#10

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Pale Blue

Posts: 0

Mar 27 07 10:39 PM

The first 8 just didn't get it..

Lucky #9...Believe I'll let it rest...

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lowell X

#11

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Posts: 866

Mar 29 07 5:49 AM

Hello. My name is Percile. Lowell's face-down on the floor right now, so he can't speak.
I checked him out, (I'm a nurse, you know,) and as soon as everything wears off, I'm sure he'll be fine. Not to worry.
But he asked me to finish this post, which was blank when I looked on the screen.
Then I looked up at the header and got the gist, and I'll have to say Lowell has turned me on many sounds that I've never heard before in my life.
Before.
Now, I'm just a nurse who digs Albert Ayler. Totally alientated.
Anyway, Yrs, Pricile

Even though the Moon is smaller than the Earth, it is farther away-- Ernie Kovaks

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lowell X

#12

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Posts: 866

Mar 29 07 5:52 AM

;bsreohnuig[w

Even though the Moon is smaller than the Earth, it is farther away-- Ernie Kovaks

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Muddylives

#13

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 5137

Mar 30 07 6:26 AM

When I got married, my wife only knew and liked classical and rock. Now she is also a fan of blues, soul, and (believe it or not) hip hop. She likes jazz too, only not as much. Like many women (interestingly enough), she doesn't like free or dissonant jazz at all. That is where we sometimes have conflicts.

Muddy

P.S. My cat also hates free jazz.

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Graham Henderson

#14

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Posts: 1447

Mar 30 07 6:41 AM

heck. If my cook understood anything about me and my music, I would never get any ideas for a song, and I would plumb up and die I am sure.
But I have managed to break her from listening to Joe Satriani non stop.
I bought some of him to get her out of listening to Sky non stop.
Got them to cure a Doobie Brothers fixatiion.
I'ts a long story, but she doesn't shut doors when i fire up a bit of jazz or blues now and then.
Graham

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=7032

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7844473

#15

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 30580

Mar 30 07 9:35 AM

QUOTE (Muddylives @ Mar 30 2007, 08:26 AM)

Like many women (interestingly enough), she doesn't like free or dissonant jazz at all.

Me neither.
Mmmmmh, must be that feminine part of us I keep hearing about.

Rene
Paris, France.

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Blue Trane

#16

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 2056

Mar 30 07 10:44 AM

Ditto-for free jazz. My limits are Coltrane and post-bop. If we're going to talk about my

"inner child" I'm outta here, Rene.

Signed

Jeff T aka John Wayne's Love Child

St Louis, MO
" Jazz is the music of the freedom of collective improvisation."- Duke Ellington in Music Is My Mistress.

“I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.”
Duke Ellington quote

It is from the blues that all that may be called American music derives its most distinctive character.-James Weldon Johnson

"And what gift of America to the rest of the world is actually most appreciated by the rest of the world? It is African-American jazz and its offshoots. What is my definition of jazz? 'Safe sex of the highest order.'"-Kurt Vonnegut

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Muddylives

#17

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 5137

Mar 30 07 12:08 PM

You mean to tell me that you guys are a bunch of sissies?

Muddy

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Blue Trane

#18

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Deepest Blue

Posts: 2056

Mar 30 07 4:25 PM

Just kidding-I'm heading for the sweat lodge now.

Jeff T

St Louis, MO
" Jazz is the music of the freedom of collective improvisation."- Duke Ellington in Music Is My Mistress.

“I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.”
Duke Ellington quote

It is from the blues that all that may be called American music derives its most distinctive character.-James Weldon Johnson

"And what gift of America to the rest of the world is actually most appreciated by the rest of the world? It is African-American jazz and its offshoots. What is my definition of jazz? 'Safe sex of the highest order.'"-Kurt Vonnegut

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7844473

#19

[-]

Deepest Blue

Posts: 30580

Mar 30 07 5:33 PM

QUOTE (Muddylives @ Mar 30 2007, 02:08 PM)

You mean to tell me that you guys are a bunch of sissies?

Muddy

No no(es).

Rene
Paris, France.

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joesblues

#20

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Posts: 161

Mar 31 07 8:39 PM

My EX-wife wasn't crazy about jazz. In fact, it sorta of caused our divorce...or helped to speed things up. We still had "for cause" divorce in California at the time and she named my "record collection" as primary gounds. She contended that I spent too much time and money on my record collection which was, and is, true, no question. At the time of the break-up I had over six thousand albums at home (...and that was several years ago) and it was primarily jazz although a lot of rock and pop too...so, jazz contibuted (God bless it!).

I"ve had the opportunity to guide many friends to jazz venues over the years and I always remember a young lady from Orange County, California named "Melanie" who hadn't a clue about jazz. After catching Count Basie one evening she was astounded and asked, "Do these guys have any records out?" They did, of course, and she bought two the next day. Sad, but so many people simply don't know what this music is all about...and what it can do for you.

...oh, yeah, and then there was "Margo" who was from an old "Boston Family" and into classical primarily. I'd had enough after a few months and to help the break-up get along I played a lot of Albert Ayler, Coltrane and the like at high volume which drove her crazy...next case.

Joe

"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?"

Robert F. Kennedy
(paraphrasing George Bernard Shaw)

"Men who are minds dream; men who are bodies sleep soundly."
"A shallow mind is a sin against God...a man who does not struggle is a fool."

Chaim Potok
"In the Beginning[COLOR=blue]

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